'Legolas is Daryl Dixon with better hygiene: Tolkienites postulate which LOTR hero would be the best companion in a zombie apocalypse

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Apr 9, 2024 11:30 AM EDT

We all like to think that we'd be clever enough to survive a zombie apocalypse. There are so many movies and TV shows out there that act as a survival guide (or at least a 'what not to do' cautionary tale) that witty people have grown an overdeveloped sense of arrogance in their own survival proficiency. But at the end of the day, can any of us make arrows, grow corn, or hunt? Exactly. 

And if one thing's certain about the zombie apocalypse, it's that you don't get very far on your own. 

So naturally, Lord of the Rings fans have asked ourselves a very important hypothetical question as a test to our zombie apocalypse proficiency–which hero from the LOTR universe would you rather have by your side at the end of the world? Would it be Aragorn and his unironic army of the dead? Would it be Gimli and his axe? Would it be Eowyn and her soup? 

Scroll onward to read the funniest responses to a time-tested question, and let's hope none of us will ever have to test this knowledge in the real world. 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/TheReaderDude_977 Choose one companion for Zombie Apocalypse. Lord of the Rings
    via TheReaderDude_977
  • 02
    goboxey. 6 hr. ago Definitely not Sean Bean. 1.7k Reply Share PunsGermsAndSteel. 6 hr. ago "Boromir has no companion. Boromir needs no companion." 475 Reply Share phliuy. 3 hr. ago "m-my buddy. My companion. My king bro"
    via goboxey
  • 03
    NieR_SemiAutomata - 5 hr. ago "Boromir would've survived the zombie apocalypse," Denethor probably 122 Reply Share PotentialSquirrel118. 5 hr. ago Boromir IS the zombie apocalypse.
    via NieR_SemiAutomata
  • 04
    Nemair 6 hr. ago Legolas. Most zombies will be down before they have me in bite range (unlike gimli and aragorn who prefer melee combat)+he makes an excellent groceryrunner when there's hip- deep snow. 1.4k Reply Share legolas_bot 6 hr. ago I am an Elf and a kinsman here.
    via Nemair
  • 05
    Ο CatraGirl 5 hr. ago Also considering a bow is the closest weapon here to a crossbow, he's basically Daryl Dixon without the redneck stuff (and lack of personal hygiene). And when it comes to zombie survival, Daryl is always a top pick...
    via CatraGirl
  • 06
    Satanairn 5 hr. ago If the zombies numbers are not great. Point is, you need some melee fighter to go with your archer. 11 Reply Share gkamyshev 5 hr. ago legolas is an excellent melee fighter tho
    via Satanairn
  • 07
    walkingcarpet23 - 4 hr. ago I agree with this but I am still tempted to say Aragorn just because of how awesome I think it'd be to draw my Anduril replica and go to battle alongside him with his. At least for the first minute until the replica breaks
    via walkingcarpet23
  • 08
    Rifneno 5 hr. ago Can I choose Pippin? When Gandalf inevitably shows up to bully him, he'll take care of the zombies 166 Reply Share LAKnapper 5 hr. ago Dwarf Unless Pippen got him killed already
    via Rifneno
  • 09
    QueenofWoodlandRealm 6 hr. ago Aragorn without doubt he'll summon the army of the Dead. 463 Reply Share OwnerofNeuroticDogs. 5 hr. ago If it's a zombie apocalypse that's not exactly a flex
    via QueenofWoodlandRealm
  • 10
    Page-This 5 hr. ago Ya I figured the idea was to kill them or at least avoid them...Aragorn would have them following you around en masse complaining about how he enslaved them. 61 Reply Share Tmhc666 2 hr. ago Fight fire with fire
    via Page-This
  • 11
    Mistwalker007 5 hr. ago Legolas and Arwen seem the most OP. 84 Reply Share ... Links_Wrong_Wiki · 2 hr. ago I'm surprised no one has picked Arwen yet. She's not as much of a warrior as Legolas, but being an elf she's probably second to only Aragorn and Legolas. Plus shes cute af.
    via Mistwalker007
  • 12
    Xeg-Yi 6 hr. ago I'd say an axe would be the most effective weapon against them. 228 Reply Share TheReaderDude_97 OP 6 hr. ago I am on 17 already... 116 Reply Share Fufflin 5 hr. ago Huh? I'll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!
    via Xeg-Yi
  • 13
    ThisIsTheNewSleeve 5 hr. ago Eowyn. I'll do the cooking, she'll do the fighting. She'll probably beat the apocalypse on a technicality too. 60 Reply Share LAKnapper 5 hr. ago Dwarf Eowyn. I'll do the cooking, she'll do the fighting. She'll probably beat the apocalypse on a technicality too. Didn't consider this one.
    via ThisIsTheNewSleeve
  • 14
    MrQtea - 6 hr. ago Everyone is somewhat good. But I'm torn between two: I think Sam is a good one. He'll find some delicious ingredients everywhere. Or even make a garden at some remote location. Aragorn is proficient in so many survival skills, fighting and leading. He'll find the right people for everything he can't do. And Eowyn with the condition I do the cooking.
    via MrQtea
  • 15
    Nonstick-Turtle 6 hr. ago Magic users would dominate, followed by Legolas then Aragorn. 107 Reply Share RedFireSuzaku 5 hr. ago Gandalf, 10 seconds in the Zombie apocalypse: "I'll have to leave you a few years in this shelter, my lad. I gotta go check on Gondor's old parchments about what a "zombie" is, then ask the only other magician in the continent who could possibly turn to necromancy for friendly help about what to do. But until then, y'know... just stay hidden, stay safe."
    via Nonstick-Turtle
  • 16
    The-Marnit 6 hr. ago Sam for one reason... Po.Tay.TOES! 33 Reply Share TheReaderDude_97 OP 6 hr. ago Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.
    via The-Marnit
  • 17
    . Francis Wolfgang - 5 hr. ago Dwarves might very well be immune to zombification. At least it's worth testing -- I choose Gimli 16 Reply Share Skrukkatrollet 5 hr. ago That could apply to the elves and hobbits as well though
    via Francis Wolfgang
  • 18
    .6 hr. ago Boromir will blow the horn when he sees one. Pass Gimli counts louder than a howling warg. Pass Eowyn has the constant need to show her worth and put us in danger. Pass Arwen gets sick whenever they sky turns dark. In my region a nogo. Pass Faramir is male Eowyn. Pass
    via [deleted]
  • 19
    Legolas is too good looking. My wife would be temted. Pass Aragorn is WAY too good looking. Same as above. Pass Frodo would disappear randomly and say. "It's my mission. You are just a side character." Pass Sam. Where do I start: cooking, gardening, fighting, moral support, strong. We have to work on his backpack that sounds like a set of drumms but we find a solution.
    via [deleted]
  • 20
    Errant Indy 5 hr. ago "Faramir is male Eowyn" OUCH, calm down there, Denethor. 21 Reply Share .5 hr. ago He literality says " now faramir can show what he's worth" the definition of eowyns fear.
    via ErrantIndy
  • 21
    Bliefking. 5 hr. ago Aragorn would just remind them of their oaths and bingo bongo: You two rule earth with your army of zombie servants. 11 Reply Share ... waisonline99 5 hr. ago Aragorn. Hes a ranger innit.
    via Bliefking
  • 22
    Responsible-Onion860.5 hr. ago It's tempting to choose Legolas because with a plentiful supply of arrows, no zombie is getting close. But it's not just dealing with the zombies, survival skills are of the utmost importance. So I'm going Aragorn. Reply Share legolas_bot. 5 hr. ago Hiro hyn hîdh ab 'wanath
    via Responsible-Onion860
  • 23
    Biculus. 4 hr. ago Aragorn. Excellent bowman and swordsman, but more important he's an extremely well- trained survivalist. He can hunt, cook, knows natural medicine, and I believe we see him sewing at one point (could be wrong?). He's also a good tactician and a strong leader. He's basically the perfect post-apocalyptic protagonist.
    via Biculus
  • 24
    Mugwumpen - 4 hr. ago Legolas. Daryl Dixon with better hygiene, night vision and he doesn't need sleep the same way we do. 8 Reply Share Sabretooth1100 - 2 hr. ago Not only that, he never ages. You never have to worry about your companion slowing down, or you outliving him.
    via Mugwumpen
  • 25
    skepticalscribe 4 hr. ago instantly scans for Gandalf and Galadriel Well played OP
    via skepticalscribe
  • 26
    pursuitofhappiness13. 5 hr. ago Eowyn. We can eat her stew and snuggle like that old couple on the titanic. (The joke is we die from her stew.)
    via pursuitofhappiness13

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hobbits Lord of the Rings lord of the rings memes second breakfast apocalypse The Hobbit lotr memes Memes zombie middle earth comedy tolkein zombie apocalypse funny hobbit
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